Listen up, people. My dad's out there,
somewhere on the loose with five Centurion helmets.
It's only a matter of time before he pops up and makes his move.
So, how do we stop him?
We shall destroy J'Son of Spartax!
Okay, you get points for consistency, Drax,
but none of our weapons can stand up to those helmets.
- I am Groot. - You read my mind, bud.
Only one gearhead in the galaxy can engineer that kind of boom...
Ja Kyee Lrurt.
The greatest weapons designer in the history of the known universe?
You guys got no culture whatsoever!
Trading knives!
Collectible targets!
And my "piece de resistance",
Ja Kyee's patented Universal Hex Bolt!
- Hey, cool! - Ah-ah-ah! Don't touch, Quill.
In fact, don't even look at it no more, okay?
Just go, go, go!
So, like I was saying, if anyone has a weapon
that can stop J'Son and the Centurion helmets, it's Jackie.
Rocket may be right. Thanos considered Ja Kyee's work
dangerous enough to keep tabs on her, but she went into hiding years ago.
Not "hiding," Gamora, retirement.
Legend has it she created a doomsday device so powerful
that Nova Corps paid her a fortune not to build it.
Eh, she found a quiet little planet and lives in seclusion.
Okay, new plan: Get Jackie to make us a sweet little anti-helmet weapon.
Eh, Jackie hates Spartax,
so she'll definitely wanna help us stick it to J'Son.
- But how will we locate her? - Finding her's easy.
Getting past her totally fearsome planet-wide security system?
Not so much.
And you know this from experience?
What? I just wanted her autograph.
You know, maybe a selfie.
And her approval.
Okay, this is it, people. Battle stations!
We're passing through the sensor net...
now!
Huh. That's weird.
Last time, I had about 12 anti-matter missiles
screaming down my tail.
So much for those impenetrable defenses.
Hey! Show some respect.
She must've upgraded to something even more powerful.
And invisible.
Or something happened to her.
Okay, this does not look like a planet I'd want to retire to.
It looks like a place of rampant destruction. I like it.
I am Groot.
What? I wanna show off my new remote control to Jackie.
Assuming she's alive.
Trespassers will be terminated on sight.
Guys, this is one of Jackie's classic designs!
A J.L. Sentry!
Just look at the engineering!
The balance between armor and firepower!
Oh, this thing is a work of art!
Uh, Rocket, your "work of art" is about to paint the floor with us!
Trespassers will be terminated on sight.
Look at the rate of fire!
It's totally gonna terminate us!
Terminate this!
Drax! You know how lucky you are to get pounded
by an actual J.L. Sentry?
Ooh-hoo! I bet it's gonna shoot missiles!
I am Groot!
I am Groot! Called it!
I'll never wash this suit again.
Why start now?
Everyone back to the Milano!
Quick! Quick!
Somebody get a picture of me with the...
Let me handle this.
Oh, hey, guys.
Yeah, you know, we're looking for the Chitauri Adventure Water Park.
But it doesn't look like this is it,
so we'll just be on...
You trespassers will be tried and found guilty.
The penalty is termination.
- Uh, spoiler alert... - Whoa!
Is Jackie's security system the best or what?
This doesn't feel right.
Why would Jackie retire to a war zone?
The greatest weapons designer in the galaxy?
Why wouldn't she?
Well, if we can just talk to her,
I'm sure we can sort this whole thing out with the robots.
Doubt it. I'm their prisoner too.
Ja... Ja... Ja...
Ja Kyee Lrurt.
Call me Jackie. And you are?
The Guardians of the Galaxy.
Meet Gamora, Drax, and Groot.
I'm Peter Quill, also known as Star-Lord.
"Star-Lord"? You're Spartaxian!
Wou... Would you sign...
hex bolt?
Sign my... Please!
And this is your stalk... Your number one fan Rocket.
Why are you here?
We came for your help to fight my father, J'Son of Spartax.
'Course, that was when we expected to find
you retired to a technological paradise,
not a prisoner on a war-torn wasteland.
What happened here?
The tragedy of unintended consequences.
After a lifetime designing weapons of war,
I wanted to build something to help people.
I started by adding an adaptive learning capability to my robots.
But their command programming was too basic.
They only learned to become more war-like.
My guardian robots, the Sentries,
turned against my combat model, the Ultroids.
I had to do something before their war engulfed this planet
and spread beyond it.
I had no choice but to build my doomsday device...
An E.M.P. detonator powerful enough to destroy every robot on the planet.
But before I could use it, I was captured. And here we are.
So, these robots of yours, do they, like,
you know, turn into anything else?
You know, like trucks or planes and stuff?
Oh, what a dumb idea. Don't embarrass me in front of Jackie!
Shapeshifting robots. Intriguing.
Ah. The applications are endless.
I was just gonna say the same thing myself.
Almighty Engineer Lrurt.
Betrayer of your own creations,
I implore you for the final time
to build us a weapon to defeat the Ultroid menace.
And I say for the final time that I will build no more weapons.
Then I must resort to other methods of persuasion.
Methods far less pleasant for biologicals.
Let her go, ya miserable, yet magnificent, hunks of junk!
This is an outrage! A travesty of an injustice against the universe!
We gotta save her! Guys?
Uh, I am Groot?
Okay. But remember, rescuing Jackie was my idea.
Almighty Engineer and traitor Lrurt,
this device will overload the pain structures in your brain.
You will cooperate or perish.
Ah, there are too many of them.
How 'bout I even the odds?
Don't damage 'em too bad! They lose their collective value!
Gamora, behind you!
I am Groot!
Eat magma, metal-head!
Okay, not my best battle cry.
Hmm. Not many warriors have the skill to defeat my J.L. Sentries.
And your ship is quite impressive.
Well, I've been working on it my whole life.
The Milano's one of a kind.
Everyone in the Milano! Rocket, get Jackie out of these restraints!
Wait a minute, Quill! I don't know if I can get these things open!
Figure it out on the way!
Quill, what are you...
Oh, your designs are so elegant.
The use of superconducting magnets and quantum-vacuum solenoids... genius!
And the Universal Hex Bolts to integrate components?
Well... Focus!
Remove the hex bolt at the primary linkage.
Oh. Yeah. Duh.
I didn't do tha-a-a-at!
Hang on, Jackie! I got you!
Pretty good rescue, huh?
Well, we're alive. Now run!
We lost the tractor beam!
Swing around. We'll take care of the Sentries.
I am Groot!
Now we just need to hold this position until...
Supreme Builder Ja Kyee Lrurt.
Are those Ultroids?
You are under the protection of the Ultroid Alliance.
And our prisoner for your crimes against robot-kind.
Oh, this day can't get any better.
You mean it can't get any worse.
Next time you have a death wish, leave me out of it.
Jackie, Rocket, fall back now!
- Wait! I wanna see who wins! - What? Come on!
Sentries versus Ultroids! It's the best fight ever!
Appreciate the save, Guardians.
I wish there was a way I could repay you.
I don't know. Maybe we could be best friends
and hang out together and blow stuff up, like, all the time.
You mentioned you actually built your doomsday weapon.
Yeah, my jerk dad's got these ancient Centurion helmets
that make him kind of invincible.
So maybe we could borrow your E.M.P. thingie?
I mean, we'll bring it right back.
Problem is, my weapon is secure inside the Ultroid fortress.
It's useless to them, though, because I'm the only one who can operate it.
So, we raid the fortress, grab the weapon, and blow 'em all up.
- Problem solved. - Or maybe we can
talk the Ultroids into giving up the weapon.
You know, if I've learned anything from movies and TV,
it's how to teach robots a lesson about the futility of war.
Eh, bear with me.
This is an Earth game called tic-tac-toe.
Players take turns putting X's and O's on the board.
The object is to get three in a row.
But once you know the simple strategy,
every game ends in a draw.
When you realize that nobody can win, you stop playing.
Same thing with war. Boom.
Let me try. Drax the Destroyer wins at all things.
That did not count!
Drax was still learning the rules.
So Quill's dumb Earth game
is gonna teach the robots the error of their ways?
Give me a break.
His idea is elegant in its simplicity.
- It could work. - I am being cheated! Again!
Quill!
I have beaten your game, Quill... by destroying it!
- Ha! - See, this...
This is why we can't have nice things.
That's the Ultroid fortress.
My E.M.P. generator is inside.
How do we get past all those Sentries and Ultroids?
Relax.
Just get as close as you can and let me do the talking.
You Ultroids have stolen.
Almighty Engineer Lrurt from our protection.
I know you intend to have her use the ultimate weapon
to eradicate all Sentry units from this planet.
Your accusations are false, Sentry.
I know you are forcing the Supreme Builder to create a new weapon
to destroy all Ultroid-kind.
Prepare to fire.
Now that I've got your attention,
shall we play a game?
This is a logic test from my home world.
Only the most intelligent can truly master it.
Now, let me go over the rules.
Okay, so each side takes a turn drawing an "X" or an "O"
right here on this grid.
Perhaps we have underestimated Quill's plan.
- Whoever gets three in a row, wins. - No. It's a terrible plan.
But we only needed the distraction.
I knew it!
I'll get that blast door op...
Well done, rodent.
Trust me, you don't want to call him...
Jackie can call me whatever she wants.
I am Groot.
Force field deactivated.
Try not to slow us down, rodent.
"Rodent."
That's... That's a good one, Jackie.
And that is tic-tac-toe, my metal friends.
So, who wants to play?
I calculate this game is un-winable.
Agreed. Blast the biological.
What?
Oh, hey, now!
I... I can't believe I'm here.
It'll take some time to build up a charge.
It's... It's...
It's like a dream... A beautiful, beautiful dream.
Wait! Don't touch those!
Huh?
Intruders, prepare to be terminated.
And the dream is now a nightmare.
The Supreme Builder has activated the doomsday weapon.
Destroy it.
No! The weapon!
Capture the Supreme Builder.
- Terminate the intruders. - Quick, get in the mech suits!
- But Jackie said not to touch them. - The rodent's right.
The suits will give us protection and firepower.
I know you're my hero and all, Jackie, but I changed my mind.
Don't call me "rodent"!
So you don't like tic-tac-toe. How about tag?
You're it.
Okay, how about 20 questions?
Destroy the biological.
That is not a question.
Fine. Well, I've got a question for you.
What's the meaning of life?
Here's another one. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
No? Nothing? Okay.
Uh, bet you can't calculate pi to the last digit.
Ha-ha! There is no final digit for pi!
That'll melt your mainframe.
How'd your talking strategy go?
I got them to agree on one thing... uh, blasting me.
This is how I do my best talking!
I am Groot!
Okay.
I'm thinking we may not be able to talk...
And by "talk," I mean "shoot"... Our way out of this either.
Ain't no problem can't be solved by blowing it up!
We're shutting it down with an E.M.P.
Please tell me you found the doomsday device.
We did, but the robots blew it up.
The robots blew up the thing we need to blow them up.
I'm aware of the irony!
The real irony is that I thought
I could help people by building these things.
That's it!
We can't talk our way out or blast our way out,
but we can build our way out!
Now's not a good time to tinker!
Just trust me.
Ohh, it's brilliant. Keep going.
Everyone form up on me!
What is happening?
All of Jackie's creations use Universal Hex Bolts.
They make her machines customizable.
So I'm customizing.
I am Groot?
Gammy, Groot, don't move.
Ladies, gentlemen, and vegetables,
I give you the Jackie-hammer!
Mm. Like the name.
Shape-shifting robot! Totally called it!
Yes! Drax the Destroyer wishes to punch some more!
Uh, Drax, wish granted.
Armor can't take much more of this.
Rocket, I need you to modulate the core so it can expel all its power
in a single electromagnetic pulse.
An E.M.P.
Just like your doomsday device? But... But that'll...
Deactivate all the robots on the planet,
including this one.
I'm trusting you to do this, Rocket.
You're trusting me?
I won't let you down, Jackie.
Rocket, hurry!
Okay, let 'em have it!
Rocket, you saved us.
Yeah, and all I had to do was destroy
every one of Jackie's creations.
You sure you don't want to come with us, Jackie?
Nah. Too many broken things to fix around here.
I signed it.
- To keep you inspired. - Huh?
Truth is, my E.M.P. weapon won't work on Nova Centurion helmets.
Their tech is so ancient and complicated,
even I couldn't figure it out.
But you're Ja Kyee Lrurt.
They say successors first have to destroy
their masters' works before they surpass them.
Wait. Y-You mean I'm
your successor?
That's why I retired.
I knew that little roden...
Uh, young upstart would get past my defenses someday.
And I'll bet you can get past Nova Centurion tech too.
Now go grab the title. You've earned it.
You heard the lady, Quill.
Let's fire up the Milano!
Yeah, about that.
Um, I have an idea for your next project.
Maybe you can build us a new remote control.
Oh, I already got a back-up system.
It's called get your flargin' butt up there and bring back my ship!
Rocket!